Jul 31, 2007

5 Steps to Relieve Overwhelming Stress

Have you ever felt that incredible weight of the world on your shoulders, spinning out of hand? I’m here to show you ways to relieve that overwhelming feeling of stress that just sends you reeling into the pit of doom.

1. Step back and find the humor.

Today I was visiting with a friend, after several months of missing her. I mentioned that my son was out of control these days, and we talked about how we’d both threatened our sons with not making their next birthday if they didn’t settle down. Neither of us would do anything to hurt our sons, and they know that. But suddenly we both felt the humor in our empty threats. Their behavior seemed less extreme and we knew we’d be able to get through the next moment because we were laughing at the last moments.

2. Go ahead and cry your heart out.

Tears are cleansing. Allow your tears to wipe clean the heavy burdens you’ve carried. Accept that part of life as what it is and move past the stressor to a new step. Sometimes we forget the blessing of rain upon dry land. When the storms come, the land may be barren, but as sure as the raindrops fall, there’s life beneath the surface.

3. Focus on the tasks at hand.

Sometimes we focus so much on the issues that we forget our work to be done right now. When we let go of the issues and stressors; we give them to God so we can turn our focus back to what has to be done right now. Living in the moment often reduces our stress. When we can’t change the past, and the future is just out of reach, we can stay focused on the moment and life becomes simpler.

4. Stay the course.

When stress dumps on us, we’re often tempted to make radical changes in our lives, adding more stress onto the heap of changes that we have to deal with at that moment. But we don’t have to react to stress with more stress. If we choose in that moment of time to simply stay the course, do what has to be done to deal with whatever issues we’re faced with and keep our course the same, the results are two fold. We remove additional stressors. And we give ourselves time to get past one stressful time before we must stress again.

5. Chuck the stress.

You know you want to chuck it. So, for the moment, do just exactly that. Chuck all the stress and go for a walk, take the kids for ice cream, get a manicure, give yourself a pedicure, but do something that totally distracts you long enough to clear your mind and focus on the issue. There are times when this isn’t a realistic suggestion, but other times, this is the only solution that even remotely is feasible. Look it over, if nobody is bleeding, nobody is dying, chuck the stress for some instant gratification and then go back and face your lions with a fresh face.

Are you living with incredible stress and want to find an exit?

Screw The Nut

If we didn’t have problems we wouldn’t be people. People have problems. No-one is immune: Even Life Coaches have problems! The genius Dr. Maxwell Maltz commented that our lives are a combination of victories and defeats, hopes and disappointments, peaks and valleys, ups and downs. In the final analysis, the business of living requires us to rise in the face of defeat. This is the point of life. Our greatest lessons will invariably come from our losses in life versus from our successes.

A problem incubates as an inkling (something’s not right with this table tonight), then it develops into a nagging message (that rattle could be a screw loose somewhere), then it grows into a problem (this is becoming one unstable table), and then the unthinkable happens: that inkling which was confirmed by a message and turned into a problem….. is now a crisis (I don’t believe it - the dining room table’s just collapsed!).

Let’s break this one down: A stitch in time saves nine.

Problems reveal themselves in a plethora of ways and you can save yourself energy and even time by responding to problems when they are no more than inklings. When you get the hint, address it head-on. If the table’s askew, look underneath. If your car’s been spluttering, lift the hood. If you have a feeling that things aren’t right with your spouse or one of your children, lift the lid and talk: conversation clears problems.

A problem shared, is a problem halved but a problem solved quickly, may be a crisis averted. Screw the nut. And relax.

How To Be An Achiever!

It all needs to begin with becoming a ‘do it now? person. Procrastination and a sense of ‘there’s always tomorrow? takes us nowhere ? whereas programming ourselves to do it now brings results.

I recommend making lists, preferably each evening. By listing everything that needs doing and then prioritizing each item in order of importance next morning, we set our agenda. And it is incredibly empowering, when we have taken the necessary action, to put a tick next to the accomplishment. Then, as our row of ticks grows, so does our warm feeling and sense of getting somewhere.

If we turn list making (and subsequent action!) into a habit that is unfailingly part of our daily routine it becomes almost impossible not to start achieving. At first it may well be that we achieve little things that we won’t necessarily see as achievements. However, our confidence and sense of purpose will begin to grow and the self-discipline will in itself make a difference.

Without self-discipline life can easily become chaotic and we can drift through our days aimlessly until upon reaching old age regret is inevitable about opportunities lost and about time that cannot be claimed back and filled with more meaning.

Why are we here? There are probably as many different views about that as there are people on our planet, but it seems unlikely to me that we were born in order to drift along in a fog of non-fulfillment.

I think it more likely that life is a series of lessons ? tests, in a sense, that we need to pass in order to move on to the next. Unless we pass, we keep being given the same test, again and again, in different disguises until we learn whatever it is that needs learning. We are surely meant to grow as individuals and also in wisdom. It would be a pity, wouldn’t it, to die no wiser than we were born?

Someone once said to me that we need self-discipline every day of our lives. I was a child at the time and didn’t understand the concept, nor see its importance. Now, though, I have realized that nothing can be achieved in life unless we make up our minds to discipline ourselves and ? initially through small daily steps ? intend, then carry out our intentions.

It is the carrying them out that can move mountains! Before tackling mountains, though, I recommend beginning with little hills. From such a start and by building our self-belief as we succeed with small achievements, we can truly become BIG ACHIEVERS!

Some NLP Benefits in Sports & Health

In sports, Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you improve in your game. It helps you concentrate on things and make you become more aware of the things you’re doing. If there’s something wrong it can be corrected right away. For example, a golfer who can’t hit the ball properly because of his form would take notice of it and implement change. So the next time he hits a ball would be in proper form.

NLP benefits you in your health as well. Positive thinking is a powerful tool that can be used in the treatment and recovery in your body. NLP can help you develop the right attitude towards any conditions or illnesses that you may have. With a positive outlook towards your condition, it can bring about improvement.

One of the greatest NLP benefits is what it can do for you personally. Do you have a habit or a vice that you want to stop? Maybe you want to stop smoking but it seems too difficult. NLP can help you with these kinds of problems. NLP can also benefit in personality improvement.


Frustrated by traffic jams, over-crowded malls, having only 24 hours in a day? Do you complain about your boss, your partner, your kids and a lack of anything really meaningful in your life? Difficulties such as these often take over our lives and become our focal point.

These difficulties create a desire in us for more peace, more money, a quieter and slower way of life. We look for the things that we believe will fill us up, that essence that seems to be missing within us.

Having things in our lives that we do not want and not having things that we do want is not the issue. The issue is that we believe that these things create barriers on our path. We often accept as true that the troubles we encounter in our daily lives means that we aren’t destined to be successful, or happy, or peaceful.

What we tend to forget is that our greatest measure of achievement comes not from what we accomplish but from the obstacles we conquer in the process.

So, instead of asking “Why me’” when you are faced with challenges, ask yourself, “What now’” Don’t despair over the challenges in your life, reflect on the things you can discover from them and how they can inspire you to make better choices and take stronger action.

It is all about choice. How you see these challenges in your life will either cause you to choose to be miserable or determined, either lessen your power or stir it up, either hold you back or drive you to ever higher levels of achievement. It’s your life, your choice, choose wisely!

Affirmations, success principles and quotes have shown Maureen Oliver what it means to be able to live a powerful and abundant life and her goal is to share that knowledge with others with her website, Affirmations For Success and the Affirm Your Life E-zine Sign up now and receive a special FREE report on applying the power of visualization for success.

You say you don’t like your Life - Are you sure you’re even Living your Life?

‘If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.?

-Jim Rohn

As you read the above quote by motivational speaker and one time mentor to Anthony Robbins, Jim Rohn, you might have experienced some sort of ‘gut? reaction to his quote. Chances are pretty significant that at some point in your life you have had a sudden realization that you were living your life around someone else’s plans; you suddenly develop an awareness that more decisions in your life than you care to remember, have been determined by someone other than yourself.

Now, this may be in the context of your career, interactions with extended family or neighbors, or a marriage. One thing is certain though, when there is harmony in the relationship, we are comfortable having others ‘weigh in? on the decision, making a cooperative determination. And isn’t it true, that when the relationship is really harmonious, that we don’t even mind having an occasional decision made ‘for? us, by the person in question?

How do we know when the relationship is no longer harmonious? John Gottman, Ph. D., the worlds foremost expert on the ’success? or ‘failure? of marriages states that there is harmony when we feel respected. However, using sophisticated video camera’s, Gottman has been able to predict with 91% accuracy which couples will be divorced within 4-6 years, by watching them interact on camera, and then using the findings of world renowned facial expression scientist, Dr. Paul Ekman to interpret the ‘communication? between them.

Gottman has authored several brilliant books, and I would highly recommend them all, but for the purposes of this article, I will narrow it down to this: where there is consistent ‘contempt? shown by one or both of the partners toward the other, the shows pretty much over. Again, Gottman has consistently predicted with 91% accuracy, who will ‘make it’, and who won’t.

Much of it has to do with what’s known as ‘threshold.? Let’s say that from time to time, your computer just shuts down’.you have no idea why’.it just does. Now, if this only happens once every two weeks, even though it’s a royal pain in the butt, you’ll probably go a long time before you finally ‘feel? like you need to buy a new one. Let this same thing start happening once a day though, and it won’t be long before you toss it through the window and head off on your new computer search.

Perhaps threshold would be better described like this; imagine a long glass tube, about 8 inches in diameter, and six feet long, resting vertically against a wall in your home. Much like a giant thermometer, it has a semi-thick red liquid that rises when you are upset or angry.

Let’s pretend that we are starting at a baseline, where all of the red liquid is pooled at the bottom of the tube. Enter the first experience where your partner makes some ‘cutting? remark; the red liquid now comes up about two feet in the tube. Naturally, given enough time before the next ‘hurtful? remark by this other person, your anger will have had time to dissipate, and the red liquid will have returned to its starting position.

Wait a minute though, what about the situation where your ‘red liquid? has come up two feet, and has only gone about half way back down before the next sarcastic or contemptuous remark comes your way? Now the red liquid, even if it only travels the normal two feet, is now pushing to the three foot mark.

Then, if once again, then before the ‘liquid? has had a chance to go back down, BAM’..you are angered or hurt again’.what happens?

This pattern will eventually ‘ratchet? the red liquid all the way to the top, and then, much like the proverbial cartoon thermometer in an overheated room”BOOM!!! The thermometer will shatter.

When this happens with a human being, it’s called going over threshold. Once we have gone past our threshold, by having experienced too many of the same emotions in a compressed period of time, we experience an emotional ‘pop.? Just as a bubble that has ‘popped? can no longer return to its previous form, neither can most of us ever return to the same feelings we had for someone before the ‘pop.?

We often hear this expressed with such phrases as ? I just don’t feel anything for them anymore? or ‘It’s just not there’it’s gone, it’s like I’m numb.?

Comments like this are a verbal description of the emotional landscape of a person’s inner world. Can people ‘hold? a relationship together once they hit this point? I think you would agree, that people can hold it together even in the bleakest of conditions when they let the fear of the unknown control their destiny.

Women who have been beaten once a month for ten years will often stay around, simply because they know what to expect. My god, if they left and went elsewhere, it might be different, and they wouldn’t have the same degree of predictability in their lives for some time, and that folks, is often enough’.the fear of the unknown.

The question then, becomes: ‘will most people be able to experience the passion and peak emotional experiences they desire in life, ‘holding? a situation like this together? I’ll leave that one for you to answer.

I was recently watching a video clip on youtube.com of Stephen Gilligan. Gilligan was one of the premiere students of the famous therapist and medical hypnosis wizard, Milton Erickson.

Gilligan was asked by the interviewer, what the most important thing he had learned from Erickson (who died in 1980 I believe) had been. Gilligan, who had experienced sexual abuse as a child, and now a world famous psychologist who graduated from Stanford, said, ‘I think it was that life is to be enjoyed!? He then went on to say that we are here for a brief period of time, and that we can either go through life trying to be something we’re not, and then at the end of our life experience the feeling of ‘what was the point”, or, we can be true to ourselves, and live life on our terms.

Dan Kennedy says, ‘No one who is good at making excuses is also good at making money. The skills are mutually exclusive.? My spin on that is, ‘No one who is good at justifying being treated poorly is also good at feeling alive and happy.?

This article was purposely written in a manner than lacked continuity and was a bit unorganized, solely for the purpose of stimulating your mind in applying this information in your life, exactly where it would benefit you most. Trust that your unconscious mind will fill in the gaps, allowing you to draw your own conclusions, and to make your own discoveries about whether or not you have a plan for your life.-(VH)

Jul 25, 2007

Variations of Tactics

Strategy determines direction. The actual execution of the plan to achieve objectives is called tactics and it begins with contact. Internally, that contact may be with the development or production process of a product or service. Externally, that contact is usually with a customer! The contact makes personal relationships an important issue in tactics and explains why tactics must vary. At the point of contact, unpredictable personal equations become part of the scenario.

While strategic principles are unchanging for all time, tactics (implementation of the strategy) vary with the times and circumstances and must be tuned to current situations.

The purpose of tactical maneuvering is to relocate the battle to a place where superiority can be obtained.
Strategies at any level are the tactics of the next lower level in the chain of command. The best tactical school is experience. And the people with prior experience in their industry have the soundest tactical foundation.(msn.abulhood)

Jul 18, 2007

Absolute Power

Now those who seek absolute power, even though they seek it to do what they regard as good, are simply demanding the right to enforce their own version of heaven on earth, and let me remind you they are the very ones who always create the most hellish tyranny. (Barry Goldwater)
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